Halloween and Social Graces

I love Halloween!! Besides the cool fall weather and the beautiful shades of reds, yellows and oranges that present themselves so wonderfully on the trees, I love the magic of Halloween. I love the excitement of finding out what my daughter, LadyJ is going to dress up as each year in her costume. LadyJ never picks a standard costume like a princess, or a witch, or a fairy, or a cat or ghost.  If you look at last year's Halloween post you will see that she was a "dancing princess cat". This year she was a "Waitress Girl", which interpreted, meant a poodle skirt (with a cat instead of a poodle), and her carrying a tray of food. For trick-or-treating I talked her into carrying a purse instead.

My favorite part of Halloween is it's the perfect time to practice social graces.  What a better time to teach your kids the art of courtesy, respect and most of all grattitude.  Perhaps many of you have seen the same thing I have.  The doorbell rings and a bunch of costume clad munchkins stand there with a look of expectancy while you toss your coveted treats into their outstretched bag.  Then in a flash they are gone. Thankfully this doesn't happen too often.  This is my reason for coaching LadyJ while we are trick-or-treating. Because of her challenges, social situations are awkward for her anyway.

As we approached the first door I asked her what she was going to say... she says "Thank you". I said, "That's good, but how about trick-or-treat, then say thank you afterwards"  She runs up to the front door, says "Trick-or-treat", gets her goodies and says "Thank You " as she is running back to the car.

A couple doors later, I said "It might mean more if you say "Thank You" to their faces. LadyJ looked at me for a moment to process this and she said "Yeah, you might be right" So she went to the next door and got her treats.  When she got to the car she asked "Mom, why do they keep trying to scare me?" I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "They keep telling me to be careful!" I had to stifle my giggles a bit as I explained to her that people were not trying to scare her, it was a way of telling her they care, like when I tell people to drive safely when they come to visit us.

At the next house the occupant jumped out with a mask on in an attempt to scare her. LadyJ just stood there and looked at him and waited for him to give her the treat she came for, said "Thank You", turned and walked back to the car.  Once in the car, she said "Mom, that guy tried to scare the crap out of me!"  Somehow I don't think those guys got the reaction they thought they would...haha on them!

There were other things taught, like don't walk on the grass because you wouldn't want someone to mess up your yard, you only take one and "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit". But my favorite lesson of all was to enjoy the magic of the evening. Enjoy the moment, the joy, the laughter and the bond. Don't worry about what could happen tomorrow or the next day or even the next hour.  Yes, Halloween is a wonderful time to teach the social graces such as courtesy, respect and grattitude. It was an honor to spend such a wonderful night with my incrediblly, unique daughter and I am so grateful that I have this time to spend with her.