Fly Fishing and Bubble Gum in Wal-Mart

I went to Wal-Mart with my dad(who has alzheimer's) and my daughter(who has aspergers and bipolar) today. Mind you this is no easy task, ever! It is like going with two 2 year olds, except one is 8 and one is 72. As soon as we enter the store they argue over who is going to push the cart. I try to appease my daughter and tell her she and i can hold hands while Grandpa pushes the cart. She tells me that he doesn't push the cart as well as she does. I tell her that it is not polite to say something like that and our journey begins as I direct them both to sporting goods.

I have promised my daughter bubble gum if we can get through the store without a temper tantrum. To some this may seem a bribe, but given the challenges she has had lately, I feel this is quite the reward. Wal-Mart is a huge challenge for her on any day. There is so much stimulation, with all of the lights, and colors and smells, and the noise from the people. The noise from all of the people and the intercom and the carts is the worst thing of all. For her, the noise is quite painful and on some trips I have brought earplugs, however I need to find a pair that actually stay in her ears so I don't have to stop every 10 feet to replace them.

Once in sporting goods I am trying to find tennis balls but my dad has found the fishing rods. Quickly he has been swept away to a time in our lives when he and I used to fish all the time. I mention to him that I never did learn to fly fish. I only fished by casting and watching the bobber. That of course sets him on a quest to find a fly fishing rod. I regret my comment and I am grateful that none of the rods there are fly fishing rods. I tell him that he might have to go to a bigger sporting goods store. In the meantime, my daughter has spotted at least four fishing poles, the live worms, the rubber worms, and a life vest and totally irritated my dad at least twice. Finally I find the tennis balls and move on to my next quest, shoelaces for said little girl.

The trek across Wal-Mart seems to take longer than the pioneers did across the country. My dad is tired because it is near the end of the day, and of course the toy department is between sporting goods and the shoe department. I know I had to tell my daughter to "Come On!" at every single aisle, and that of course irritated my dad some more. Just once I would like to get through Wal-Mart without my daughter thinking her last name is Da**it (Lady J Da**it, Come On!!!) (Lady J, Da**it, Get Over here !) I owe the quarter jar a lot when I get out of Wal-Mart!!

After what seems forever and a long decisive process and a desperate pleading from me to "Please just pick one!", we get the shoelaces and head to the checkout. I hate the checkout line!! This is where the battle Royale begins. My dad and my daughter usually fight over who is going to unload the grocery cart, while I try to keep both of them happy and everyone looks at us like we are all nuts!! I help my dad pay for the groceries and help my daughter pay for her gum. On the way home I relish the silence as my daughter chews her gum and my dad falls asleep knowing we got through one more trip through Wal-mart. WOW!! I didn't even have to say Da**it this time!!